Songs From a Depressed Soul
by Hop Scotch And Bananas
Summary: Sam can sing and it’s part of his school final. He doesnt want to move, but what will John and Dean say?


**Supernatural FanFiction**

**The song that Sam will sing is The Cave by Mumford and Sons. In this story I had it so that Sam wrote it, cuz it just fit. Then he other one is Going Down by Tyler Joseph. Also the stage, just to make it easier to imagine, will be like the one in the Fanfic episode. That was a pretty funny one tooXD.**

**And I don't own Supernatural. **

**Sam is 14**

**Dean is 18**

**John is John**

He doesn't know if he'd consider himself depressed. Sure teenage years have dropped on him like a ton of bricks, but all teens go through it. Sam just closed in on himself more, making his family slightly worried. Of course John wasn't. He figured Sam was just going through a stage, this one just happened to be emo.

Sam would wear jeans, and he'd wear a big black sweatshirt. John would always shame him for it saying it'd slow him down. Sam didn't care, he really didn't care if a killer clown were to come sweep him of his feet and chow on his insides. He'd be fine with that. Maybe he was depressed, but it was about to get a whole lot more.

School was coming to an end. There was only two more days, not including today. Tomorrow was the finals. And when you're a freshman they have to be good or else you'll have to stay back. John would definitely hate that. But the moment he got home most of their stuff was packed, his heart started to thump more and more. He could physically feel the nervousness and hestitent movement of his heart in his chest. It made him even more scared to confront his father about staying. This was gonna be bad, he mind as well as apologize to the neighbors right now.

" Sam! We have to go soon!" He could hear his dad's rough voice echo from the bathroom. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! He had finals, he has practiced forever to get everything right and to make sure he got ever question correct. This can't be happening. He bit his lip to find his ground. Calm yourself, please! He told himself. John emerged from that bathroom of their motel room with clothes in his hand.

" Well why ya just standin' there? Get going with packing!" John bellowed.

Sam mentally prepared himself for the coversation he was about to have. He shouldn't even call it a conversation, more like a yelling fest. He prayed this would go well.

" Hey dad, I know we've been her for several monthes already and you guys are ready to go, but can't I just finish this year?" He kept going before he go interupted," We'd only have to stay till tomorrow, it's our finals, and if I don't attend then I'll have to repeat a year!" Sam was scared to hear his father's reaction.

" Well you can go the another school to do the finals, we have to leave tonight," John tried to keep his patience. He started towards the table and sat his stuff down.

" School will just be over by the time I get registered into a new one. Please dad, just tomorrow. And at the end of the last class you can just pick me up and we can leave. If we move tonight, I'll know nothing for the other finals other schools have, then I'll fail and have to repeat the year." Sam knew he sort of over reacting, but he really wanted to stay just one more day.

John really didn't want to have to wait for his son to repeat a year. That was not what he wanted at all. He needed Sam to be out and help hunting full time.

" Fine, but the moment you are done we are gone. And don't get used to getting your way either," John pointed at Sam and scowled.

Despite the win, Sam felt like he just got struck in the head. Winning surprisingly didn't feel good. This was awful.

The next morning he got dressed into his black sweatshirt, muddy sneakers, and his getting tight jeans.

He was off to his last day of school. He wanted so badly to just finish this and go to wherever else they were headed to. Although the thought of having to endure the next 2 1/2 monthes of summer sucked. Endless training and hunting. They would be thrown to the point where going to school would be like heaven compared to the constant hell at home. In reality he had no home, so he was screwed everywhere.

The classes were cut into short blocks, just long enough to finish a test, and go to the next class. Everyone of their subjects had a test of some sort. All except art. They almost cut that this year too, he loved art though.

First would be Math, Science, History(Two Parts), Science(also 2 different parts), ELA, PE, and Music was the last. John and Dean would be waiting for him in the small crowd of parents that wanted to see the class so their thing. Truthfully, there would only be like 15 people watching at most.

Most parents didn't really care. The classroom was the total opposite though. His classmates loved him, and even though they knew he would move, they loved him around. He actually had more than one friend here, and the whole class liked him. There was no really mean people in this grade, he loved it here. Just enough challenge, but it wasn't too hard. And except of like two dudes who sort of disliked him, he was loved. There always had to be someone who hates you, or else you're fake. No one is perfect, and no one can please everyone. This place was amazing.

Math was easy enough, so was the rest of the classes. Although he probably wouldnt have aced lunch if that was a class. He had some trouble wanting to eat tis the reason he was skinny. Dean was dumbfounded by the lack of eating that would come from Sam. Dean could eat a restaurant out of business, and believe him when he says that they have gotten looks from people. They were supprised! Sam on the other hand liked the healthier side of food since he found out in health class what a life of grease and smoking can do to you. Heart attacks and cancer. He really didn't want to die at 40, so he'd stuck to the salad and vegetable soups. The occasional burglar and fries would come too, just not every meal.

Now it was the last class, music. They decided to use the stage, and have the very few parents that came in the audience to watch.

After most of the students quieted down, Mrs. Holt came up to the microphone.

" Okay remember, your assignment was to write a song that compares you to monsters, any monster or evil creature you choose." She said to the students and parents at the same time. She had their names in alphabetical order, so he'd be last. First was Kaydence Allen. She was okay looking, but she had a terrible voice. Most of the grade for this class was for willing to actually sing it on front of people, but it did also have to do with the melody and stuff.

She began to sing

_I'm not like you,_

_I don't need you,_

_You are scary_

_And I'm so Merry,_

_You are mean,_

_And I can see that you are nowhere close to me!_

_OOooOoooo, you are poop to meeeEeEeeE!_

Sam wasn't really a mean person, but that is awful! She is so bad, and it wasn't all her voice, he was visibly cringing at the lyrics. They literally hurt him. But he voice too, she wasn't at all a singer. The music she wanted them to play made no sense.

Only like 4 kids in his class were good at singing. The rest were honestly bad. Most of the parents were shifting in thir seats, also uncomfortable but they still clapped at the end of the 35 second songs.

The rest of the class were to help make the music for the students' song. And it was actually pretty good. That was really the only good part as long as it made sense. Some of the melodys didn't fit the lyrics at all. There were violin players, pianist, guitarist, and awesome vocalizers. Some could beat box and used body procession. Well most of them could use their body, the dumb ones not so much. Dean would so make fun of him for knowing all of this. Soon it was his turn. He got up from his spot and went up to the microphone. He spoted his dad and Dean in the forth row. Dean was trying to not laugh, he was literally holding his mouth shut. Oh, Sam so badly wanted to kick him were it hurts. John on the other hand was scowling, obviously mad that he lost this fight. He was gonna be embarrassed, that was a fact. He was gonna get hell from this later on.

But his song wasn't really cringy. He had actual rhythm and a reasonable melody. Sure it wouldn't be perfect, but he has help from his most trusted. And unlike over half his class, he had a good voice. It was smooth and he could hit those amazing high notes. If he wasn't going to be a hunter for the rest of his life, he'd want to be a singer. This Dad and brother have never heard him sing and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want them to know his dreams, those were for him and him only.

He stepped up with Mason and Carder and began with his guitar.

They nodded at each other. (**Remember they are supposed to compare themselves to a monster. I also suggest listening to the long while reading the lyrics. (You should read the lyrics) The Cave by Mumford and Sons)**

_It's empty in the valley of your heart_

_The sun, it rises slowly as you walk_

_Away from all the fears and all the faults you've left behind_

He took a nervous deep breath and looked to the floor.

_The harvest left no food for you to eat_

_You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see_

_But I have seen the same I know the shame in your defeat_

He did sometimes

_I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

He started to tap his foot and actually feel comfortable with the tune.

_And I'll find strength in pain_

_And I will change my ways_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

Now his friend with a banjo came in and started too. Sam now took a slight moment to look up at Dean. Instead of laughing, he was sitting there with his mouth open. He looked stupid, but he was glad Dean was surprised at his voice, and not making fun of it. At least not yet.

_'Cause I have other things to fill my time_

_You take what is yours and I'll take mine_

_Now let me at the truth, which will refresh my broken mind_

_So tie me to a post and block my ears_

_I can see widows and orphans through my tears_

_I know my call despite my faults and despite my growing fears_

_But I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain_

_And I will change my ways_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

Now he slightly smiled.

_So come out of your cave walking on your hands_

_And see the world hanging upside down_

_You can understand dependence when you know the maker's heart(don't know what this word really is)_

_So make your siren's call and sing all you want_

_I will not hear what you have to say_

_'Cause I need freedom now and I need to know how_

_To live my life as it's meant to be_

At all these words, he knew John and his brother knew exactly what they meant. They wouldn't like it. Replaying to a Wendigo, they wouldn't see how Sam was like them. They don't know him mentally though.

_And I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain_

_

And I will change my ways

_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

**( when I actually heard this song, it reminded me of Wendigos. How they become monsters by eating human flesh(cannabinol) like the song says they have no other choice. And now because I watch Supernatural, I can clearly see what kind of monster it is, even if the author didn't attend for it to be this way. Still fits perfectly I think!)**

As he finished, he could see the stunned faces of his father and brother. He almost felt ashamed. Sam put the guitar down and was greeted by Mrs. Holt.

" Wow Sam that was amazing! I love how instead of distinguishing yourself from the the monster, or evil things, you decided to relate to them. No one else did that tonight. And your melody and everything about your music is like a real song. Your voice is so amazing! Congratulations, you are one talented boy!" She praised. Sam couldn't help smile as she patted his shoulder. This was some of the only praise he got.

" And now our last song is of the whole group. Sam with be singing lead, and his other three friends will help with the harmony and other parts. The rest of that class has worked so hard to make their part sound almost futuristic. And I'm not saying that we are an exceptional school. But I would be really proud of all the different body processions and some beat boxing that made this song sound amazing. Although we worked on each part exceptionally, we haven't really fully put every song part together. Let's hope that this works," Mrs. Holt said crossing her fingers. She wasn't wrong. Sam only practiced with his three friends Mason, Carder, and Levi. All of their voices sounded alike, so it worked amazingly. Of course they never actually sung it with the music that class had made, but he hopes this will work.

" And now, we will start, Going Down. By the way, Sam and his friend designed most of the song, and although it seems kinda sad, it's an amazing peice! We are really proud and are gonna miss this exceptional student"

They made a cool effect to where the microphones sound would switch from one speaker from the side of the stage to another. It sounded so futuristic. Then they had some computerized sounds playing, it was heaven to Sam. This was what he liked.

Although nervous, the sound of the piano behind him soothed the feeling. All of his friends were by his side singing the 'downs' as he did the lead.

**( Going Down by Tyler Joseph)**

_Down _

_We're going down_

_We're going down_

_Down_

_It takes a sound_

_To break her down_

_Have you ever heard the outside calling?_

_Have you ever heard the trees singing their song?Have you ever tasted the ray of the sun_

_and have you ever held a moons glow?_

_Why do I feel scared in the morning?_

_The suns up and everybody's moving on_

_and maybe we all feel alone,_

_even though we have our telephones_

Here his friends joined in

_And we destroy a part of us everytime we blink an eye_

_And now its time for all of us to know that_

_We're going down_

_Down_

_We're going down_

_It takes a sound_

_To break her down_

_Alright_

_Normality, conformity,stillness, fake, faith and forgery,_

_all seem to be a major key,_

_to rob the day,_

_the day will seem to be a melting dream_

_,that we once had,_

_but now the dream is weak,_

_but now that we all see_

_that we have fallen down,_

_we just might be alive_

_and able to describe the reason_

_why we cry,_

_ it means to an end that we die,_

_fall just to fly,_

_fly 'cause we're free _

_free__'cause I know I've seen the end of me,_

_so we need to know__that we are going down to seize our crownsand everybody here will sing a sound,_

_we once were lost but now we're found._

_And we destroy a part of us_

_Every time we blink an eye_

_And now its time for all of us_

Here Sam smiles back at Deans this teared face. Was he proud?

_To know that we're going down_

_Have you ever tasted a ray of sun_

_And have you ever held a moon's glow_

_Why do I feel scared in the morning?_

_The sun's up and everybody's moving on_

_And we're going down_

_And we're going down_

_We're going down_

_We're going down_

_It takes a sound_

_To break them down_

_Down_

_We're going down_

_We're going down_

_It takes a sound_

_To break them down_

Dean was smiling back at him and waved. He waved back.

_Have you ever heard the outside calling_

_Have you ever heard the trees singing their song_

_Have you ever tasted a ray of sun_

_And have you ever held a moon's glow_

This felt amazing. He could feel the beat of the song to through him. All the music and clapping from the crowd made him feel loved. This whole school made him feel loved. This was how he wanted to feel everyday.

All of the few parents in the crowd stood up and clapped. Dean was up in a matter of seconds clapping. John too stood up. Although he wasn't sure if it was to not look rude in front of the other parents or teachers, he would still take it.

After most of everything seized, Sam went up to get his grades.

" Sam, you have an A is all classes, but a B in Biology, then this class you have an A! You are also qualified to skip to the 11th grade. It'd be a lot of adjusting, but I think you'd be fine," Mrs. Holt smiled and hugged him. Despite the news of being able to skip a grade, he didn't want to. He wanted to stay here, with these people, in this school and graduate with them. This is the one and only school tha he hasent been bullied in.

" The rest of you will get your grades tomorrow, and let me just say, we will really miss you Sam. You fit in here probably better than some of the others. You are an amazing boy. Never give up okay? You are talented and dezerve the world at your fingertips," she smiled while holding his chin.

He wasn't gonna cry in front of his classmates and father. He can't show any weakness. But he doesn't want to leave. No one here wants him to leave. He knows that he will always have to hunt, and never be allowed to follow his dreams. He knows that he can't never do whatever he wants, or ever get along with his father. He tried to be better. He tried to say strong but tears came down his cheeks. She slowly pulled his into a hug. The rest of the class joined in and made one big hug. Sam was really going to miss these people.

Dean was surprised to see his baby brother cry and get enclosed by a big group of kids. This brother never had people like his at this school. He felt pity for his brother. John also felt a small twinge of guilt, but the job came first. They released him and he quickly stepped down off of the stage and started up the rows of seats to the door walking fast. His brother and father too started up behind him.

Sam reached the Impala and climbed in the back. He rested his head on the window and closed his eyes. 3 seconds later he could hear the other doors open and close.

" Wow Sam, I didn't know you could sing. You were pretty good, but no where as good as my AC/DC!" Dean said trying to joke and lighten the mood.

Right now Sam hates it. He hated when Dean tried to make him laugh or smile when he was upset. He absolutely hated it.

" Just go," Sam said very quietly. John got the hint and started the impala. They started towards a new state, new town, pretty much new life. They were going to forget this school, the people in it, and the fun times. At school he was a whole other person. Here, he was an amazing person.

School and music made him who he was.

He just sat there and silently cried. He wanted to give up so badly. Just die and not have to deal with life, he hated everything.

" I'm proud of you Sammy." Dean said not even looking back.

Sam almost believed him.

**Sorry for mistakes, hope you liked it. I thought about making another chapter and making it a depressed/ maybe suicidal Sam. Should I? If you do read this, tell me your opinion!!!!!**


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